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Mirror Check

Most women are faithful to seeking solutions and praying before a man even considers the problem. Because of the way a woman responds to everything that happens in her life, she is wired to seek out and execute the solutions. Most men on the other had have very limited response and do not care to dig as deep as the women for all the options to get to the solution, simple is better for many men.

Let me say this clearly, everyone is different and designed that way by the creator. Not every woman responds the same and neither does every man. I can only speak from experience and by observation. We trust in people, our vehicles, the furniture we buy, the banks we use, the friends we communicate with and our relational connections throughout our lives. Why do we have a hard time trusting ourselves?

Mirror: shows a reflection of something before it. Its the reflective surface giving hopefully a clear image, the true image of a person or thing according to google search and wikipedia.

When you look at yourself what do you see? Who do you see? Do you see a reflection of your authentic self or who you want people to believe you to be? Here comes the mirror check! Do you actually believe you are perfect, have no flaws and are the best in your business? Well I can tell you now, confidence is a great thing to have! A big ego is not, no one his prefect and we all have flaws. Your flaws are what make you different and unique. I am loyal, trustworthy, honest to a fault, very straight forward and very black and white. I do not do the gray areas and that can be hard for others, my straight forward can be taken as brutally honest and needs a softer touch, maybe some sugar on top. This is a flaw in someone else's eyes but I love that I am honest. I love my thick round face and embrace my red hair that I have tried twice to go lighter and all my hair falls out from the process. I was skinny most of my life even as I served twenty-one years in the Army. Then I got out and had more surgeries and been on steroids for an extended period and now I am thick honey! This is who I am! I tried for years to be who THEY wanted me to be. I walked around trying to please the world and on the inside I was drowning. I paid people to allow me to be in their lives and played the quiet one who had nothing of value to say. I was so unhappy but walking around with a smile on my face. I didn't recognize myself anymore when I looked in the mirror. Here is the transformation that started taking place in me.

I changed my expectations of people and how I saw myself. I built up my confidence. Confidence: (google) the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something, a firm trust. I trust that whatever decisions I made I could live through the consequences and side effects even if they walked away. " I was living before I met them and I will be living when they are gone" became my motto. Expectation: (google) a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. I started trusting that my life has purpose and my words have values. Both these words have the word BELIEF attached to the meanings, so I started trusting myself and the one who created me. GOD!

We all know that when we buy a car we have a confidence that it will work or we wouldn't have bought it. What about when we work hard we have an expectation that our paycheck will agree with the hours of work we put in on the job. Okay, you don't work, well how about that human hair and lashes you bought come with the expectation that they will enhance your face, you will look tight and right for the money you spent and have greater confidence. So why do we not have that very same confidence in our voices, in ourselves as we enter a room. Knowing that all the years spent growing in knowledge and training, why do we not expect more for ourselves and have confidence that we are worthy. Here is where we go deeper. You are not those decisions you made as a teenager who wasnt fully aware of the consequences because no one taught you. You are not the trauma of your past, you had the experience and no one can take that away but you are still here, you still have purpose. You are not the cycles and generational word curses passed down from your great, great, great grandparents.

How can I say this? I had to live through trauma of molesetation, rape, rejection, neglect, manipulation, a narcissist, adultery, church hurt, and people hurt. I had to go back and deal with the things that were shaping me, triggering me, keeping me in bondage in my mind and heart. I had to go back and face where I had been in order to move forward free and in the power of who God made me to be. I had to look in the mirror and get myself up. I had to recognize I am not my mother. I am the little girl who didn't have a voice back then but I am an adult who has a voice now. I had to forgive so that I could be free to be me. I had to recognize some of those who hurt me didn't have the capacity to ask for forgiveness and others only did what was done to them. I had to be intentional to forgive me and love me. I cannot change a single moment but I can go through my process of healing so I gain power from the pain, get in position to press forward and progress into my purpose. I have the posture to press in and press on.

*Church hurt and people hurt are different in that people in the church claim to know God and walk in the heart of God. They (leaders included) know God's greatest command is to love yet do not walk in the Fruit of the Spirit which is the nature of God, his character and heart, their love is conditioned on the world which is not in line with the word of GOD. Some people outside of the church do not know that's God's greatest command.

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